My Girlfriend’s Family: 0-2 in Celtic Encounters

KG: "Pass the spicy tuna roll, bro!"

Loyal readers of this blog may remember that my girlfriend missed her chance to chat with Dino Radja because she was checking out a lavender sale when he walked by on the Croatian island of Hvar. A missed opportunity, but no biggie—Dino’s retired now, and the appropriateness of approaching a player or celebrity in public is always questionable. (Actually, is it even questionable? Isn’t the right thing to do to just leave them alone and let them enjoy themselves? I think that’s probably true, so please keep that in mind as I proceed with a tongue-in-cheek lament about Saturday night’s events). 

Well, my girlfriend’s sister lives in Toronto, where the Celtics played a pre-season game Sunday. On Saturday night at about 9 p.m., I received the following text message from her: “I am in the same restaurant as Kevin Garnett.” The restaurant was Spice Route, an upscale Asian bistro with couches, pillows, statues of Buddha and the usual stuff you find at upscale Asian bistros. 

I replied back asking her if it would be possible to talk to him or take his picture, even though I understand how uncomfortable it can be to sidle up and greet a superstar athlete when they are enjoying a nice evening out. I’m a reporter at my “real job,” so I have uncomfortable conversations all the time, but those conversations usually take place in a clearly understood reporter-source context. This is much different, and I didn’t expect her to do it. 

But about an hour later, another text message arrived:

“Paul Pierce just walked in.”

Ok. Now we may have reached a tipping point where an awkward approach is required. KG alone is one thing—he’s one of the 15 or 20 greatest basketball players of all time, arguably the MVP of the 2008 champs, etc. But he’s still a relatively new Celtic who arrived here at the end of his career. 

But holy hell—now he’s sitting with Paul Pierce!! A guy who has been on the Celtics for more than a decade! Unquestionably the greatest Celtic of the post-Bird era! The MVP of the 2008 Finals, and the player who will finish either 1st or 2nd on the Celtics all-time points scored list. 

And he’s sitting in a booth with Kevin Garnett! I called my girlfriend’s sister to assess the situation. KG and Pierce were sitting in a booth with a third player no one in her crew recognized, someone who appeared bigger and heavier than both Pierce and KG (Perk? Big Baby?). One of her friends knew the bouncer, who informed the group photos were a no-no. But the players weren’t seated in any VIP section isolated from the rest of the place; in fact, they were seated near the bathroom area, and everyone had to pass by them on their way to the restrooms. 

A few brave people chatted up Pierce and the unidentified big man, and the players appeared to greet these brave ones politely and answer their questions. Nobody lingered, nobody took photos and it appeared nobody intruded beyond a quick hello and 30-second chat. KG was positioned inside the booth, so interaction with him was minimal. 

Given this set-up, I probably would have said something. I mean, this is two-thirds of the Big Three. You have to understand: The chances of this happening in New York, where I live, are minimal. Toronto is a big city and unquestionably the business capital of Canada. But the stars and the plebeians are not separated there to the degree they are in NYC. New York offers an unlimited number of super-exclusive places where celebrities can hide from the rest of us. Toronto doesn’t. People apparently run into athletes there all the time; Jay Triano, the Raptors coach, is such a regular downtown that seeing him out is no big deal. 

Of course, Toronto doesn’t have athletes like these—two sure-fire Hall of Famers and stars of the most decorated franchise in basketball. The closest thing is probably Roy Halladay, who plays on a team that may rank fourth in popularity among the city’s sports teams. 

Not only that, but the mystery player even got up from the booth, ordered a drink at the bar and circulated for a few minutes before returning to the safety of the booth. He was practically begging for someone to talk to him! (My girlfriend’s sister and I went over some player photos, and the Mystery Player may be Glen Davis, though she’s not sure).

I did what I could, readers. I offered her money. I cajoled her over the phone, saying our friendship was on the line. But in the end, her Canadian politeness (are there a friendlier people on Earth?) overcame my pleas, and I have to grudgingly admire her judgement. 

She left shortly before midnight, and the players were still there. They were well-behaved and obviously well-rested enough to whip the Raps in a (meaningless) game the next day. 

Moral of the story: The next time someone in my circle sees a member of the Celtics, it damn well better be me. Of course, chances are it will be my sister, who lives in Boston. And good news! She probably wouldn’t even recognize Paul Pierce or Kevin Garnett. So we’re covered there.

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