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The Ticker
8 days ago

Painful Reminders (Part I): The Celtics Drafted JaJuan Johnson Instead of Jimmy Butler

On June 23rd, 2011, Brian Robb and I stood around a high top bar table in Tommy Doyle’s in Kendall Square.  Before us lay one of the biggest mounds of buffalo chicken wings I had ever endeavor to make disappear.  These 25 cent flappers- one of the few indulgences afforded to the participants of our [...]

19
8 days ago

Chris Wilcox: 2012-13 Final Grade

There are a number of contextually-appropriate ways to craft this post. One would be to forgo words entirely, and represent Chris Wilcox’s entire season with a series of videos. That would involve one part of this: For every eight parts of this: Note the headline on that second clip. Someone was so amused/enraged by Wilcox’s [...]

12
9 days ago

Rajon Rondo’s 2012-13 Final Grade

Here’s a sweeping general statement involving super specific statistics that may or may not mean anything: In the 1423 minutes Rajon Rondo played this season, the Boston Celtics were outscored by 1.3 points per 100 possessions. When he sat (including all contests after he tore his ACL), Boston was better than their opponents by 1.8 [...]

93
10 days ago

Avery Bradley Elected to NBA All-Defense Second Team

Avery Bradley has been a standout defender for the past couple seasons…in the regular season anyway. Now he has a trophy to prove it. The NBA announced this afternoon that the third-year guard has been elected by coaches around the league to the second-team all-NBA defensive team for the first time in his career. Bradley [...]

13
13 days ago

Paul Pierce’s Contract: Dispelling The Myths and Stating The Facts

The first domino to fall this offseason is Paul Pierce’s contract. Until Danny Ainge figures out what he’s doing there, little else matters. As we wait for this decision, we also must face the rest of the offseason, which means it is also rumor season. With that time of year, comes plenty of information floating [...]

42
13 days ago

Final Grade: Avery Bradley (C+)

In his third year in the league, in which promising players often make brash leaps from benchwarmer to starter, from starter to star, Avery Bradley took a big step back. But his regression might be deceptive. When he returned to the Celtics’ lineup on January the 2nd after two in-season months recovering from offseason shoulder [...]

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Training Camp Eve

Tomorrow starts Celtics training camp and fans of all shapes and sizes are starting to get excited.  Most people have kept an ear to the ground this offseason and are well aware of all the moves Danny Ainge has pulled off to make this team look the way it does.  A small select few out there completely missed the boat on all this news.  One such fan is my buddy Flynn.

Flynn reached such a level of despair after Game 7, he forgot what a basketball was this summer.

Now before you all go crazy and chase him out of Boston like he’s Frankenstein’s monster, there are a few things you have to know.  Flynn was a little busy this summer.  He ran a very successful summer camp in our hometown, he was taking extra courses to finish up his degree, and he became a certified EMT- which is not easy for a reason.

At any rate, with all the media buzz around the area today, even Flynn caught wind of everything that has happened this summer and decided to send me an email.  Oh, and did I mention he’s hilarious?

The following has been edited for your safety and sanity:

Dear Brendan,

First and for most, I would like to preface this email with acknowledging my utter and complete ignorance of the Celtics this offseason.

As I sit in the commuter cafeteria, diligently procrastinating doing my neuropsych homework, I said to myself, “hey big guy, why not check out them there Celtics lineup!?”

We have Jermaine O’Neal and Shaq? How in the sweet mother of God did that happen?

Somehow Delonte West has gotten back to Beantown and is threatening to [disrupt team chemistry] due to his incessant need to [do things that may disrupt team chemistry].

I see a Mr. Nate Robinson will be joining us again for some small (pun intended) time comedy and emotion always coupled well with Glen Davis’ aggressive salivating that makes Pavlov’s dog look tame.

Allen, Garnett and Pierce are still the cats [meow] clearly, and god damn Perk decided to sit the next few games out.  Why doesn’t he put his big boy pants on, follow the untraceable root of Wes Welker and just smoke HGH morning noon and night and get back to the court (probably untrue but I don’t know how else he did it).

Rookies: lets talk about them.  Avery Bradley, Semih Erden (apparently he’s international?) and Luke Harangody.  Who the [hell]?

As I sit here in awe of all the changes, my sincerest concern is to the whereabouts of a Mr. Scalabrine.  We officially have no white people unless the international guy is white, and I have a sneaky suspicion that he may be.

Figured I’d share my thoughts/ramblings with someone other then other voices in my head.

Flynn

As you can see, everyone is excited for this season.  The Celtics, on paper, are stacked and training camp starts tomorrow.  This means that we actually get to find out what this team is made of aside from how Shaq describes their pickup games.

Flynn’s letter proves three things: 1) he really hasn’t been paying attention this offseason; 2) he hasn’t read this blog at all; and 3) the NBA is back.

So, thanks Flynn. 

And for the record:  Brian Scalabrine is in training camp with the Chicago Bulls and Luke Harangody and Semih Erden are white- not that I see color.

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